Lots to think about here. I know now that before my daughter was diagnosed with bipolar, anorexia, you name it, that things had been hard for her for years. Years. We just thought she was our tricky kid. And I had been a coordinator of a youth service previously so I thought I was across these things. So she suffered and suffered. We can love them and we can absolutely let them down at the same time.
I can't even consider this. I have no children but that's not why. The complexity and depth of . . not just this situation, the relationships in this family, but that of everyone. I've had to consider, forgive, people who committed heinous crimes at various times against family members. My heart is forever shredded but it holds. I gather the good and pad it, as ridiculous as that sounds. I feel for these people, the child, the parents, the parents of the children murdered, the other students. Were the parents insensitive, or were they unwilling to admit their child was imperfect? In our society you're either normal or an outcast. Hey, knowing too many dead people means something's the matter with you, or having too many tragedies means others should avoid you. You're right about prison, it fits the definition of crazy action. The parents did not notice. Did teachers, neighbors, friends? I haven't read much of the case because it is overwhelming - and guns . Until real action on gun control occurs it hurts without any chance of healing.
If we see proud parents posing with successful children, we also must see these photos of parents being held accountable. It’s hypocritical, in my opinion to take take credit (even if by habit or default) for your children’s great accomplishments, without equally owning the responsibility if they mess up badly (here very badly). I don’t see a path as a parent myself, in which I would not own both of those things; my kid’s successes and failures can be directly traced to me.
I look back twenty years in my/mykids life/lives and think how was I so blind? This was were the easiest change could have been made for both, had I been savvy to mental health. At fifteen years ago with more as things started to hit the fan with my middle child, undiagnosed OCD, anorexia etc and my youngest started with what I can describe as a series of incompetent psychiatrists for 'anger issues'. Still I went blissfully on thinking that these were just little blips that would work themselves out. Everyone is still here no one has died but that blissful bubble has been gone a long time. I'm glad I didn't end up in a courtroom though I did have a very horrible interview with a truancy judge
Extremely compelling article. It has given me much to think about and sort through. Like you, when I heard the verdict I had so many questions. Some you asked here and some I had never even thought of. Thanks for always keeping me stimulated!
You make many salient points! Thanks for writing about this. I have so many feelings about the why of it all. Your words help me try to clear up the muck in my brain. I wonder why the father wasn't held accountable. Why was he exempt from responsibility? This case just opened up the criminal justice system to more (similar) cases and potentially backlogging an already saturated justice system.
Lots to think about here. I know now that before my daughter was diagnosed with bipolar, anorexia, you name it, that things had been hard for her for years. Years. We just thought she was our tricky kid. And I had been a coordinator of a youth service previously so I thought I was across these things. So she suffered and suffered. We can love them and we can absolutely let them down at the same time.
In a sense they all are being charged as adults and the “adult “ child was given the gun..but good question!
I can't even consider this. I have no children but that's not why. The complexity and depth of . . not just this situation, the relationships in this family, but that of everyone. I've had to consider, forgive, people who committed heinous crimes at various times against family members. My heart is forever shredded but it holds. I gather the good and pad it, as ridiculous as that sounds. I feel for these people, the child, the parents, the parents of the children murdered, the other students. Were the parents insensitive, or were they unwilling to admit their child was imperfect? In our society you're either normal or an outcast. Hey, knowing too many dead people means something's the matter with you, or having too many tragedies means others should avoid you. You're right about prison, it fits the definition of crazy action. The parents did not notice. Did teachers, neighbors, friends? I haven't read much of the case because it is overwhelming - and guns . Until real action on gun control occurs it hurts without any chance of healing.
Interesting episode of The Daily about this verdict yesterday.
If we see proud parents posing with successful children, we also must see these photos of parents being held accountable. It’s hypocritical, in my opinion to take take credit (even if by habit or default) for your children’s great accomplishments, without equally owning the responsibility if they mess up badly (here very badly). I don’t see a path as a parent myself, in which I would not own both of those things; my kid’s successes and failures can be directly traced to me.
I look back twenty years in my/mykids life/lives and think how was I so blind? This was were the easiest change could have been made for both, had I been savvy to mental health. At fifteen years ago with more as things started to hit the fan with my middle child, undiagnosed OCD, anorexia etc and my youngest started with what I can describe as a series of incompetent psychiatrists for 'anger issues'. Still I went blissfully on thinking that these were just little blips that would work themselves out. Everyone is still here no one has died but that blissful bubble has been gone a long time. I'm glad I didn't end up in a courtroom though I did have a very horrible interview with a truancy judge
Extremely compelling article. It has given me much to think about and sort through. Like you, when I heard the verdict I had so many questions. Some you asked here and some I had never even thought of. Thanks for always keeping me stimulated!
You make many salient points! Thanks for writing about this. I have so many feelings about the why of it all. Your words help me try to clear up the muck in my brain. I wonder why the father wasn't held accountable. Why was he exempt from responsibility? This case just opened up the criminal justice system to more (similar) cases and potentially backlogging an already saturated justice system.