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The Repurposed Life's avatar

So much of what you say about your experience with David sounds exactly like what I’m experiencing now with my partner. We’ve known each other since high school, dated between my marriages but wanted different things, and find that now, after my second one has ended, we are finally on the same page, and it’s perfect. Fewer in number, but the intimate times are so much richer. 🫶

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Colette Mina Kim's avatar

I’m curious to know where you got your information about differences in orgasm frequency among Asians, Latinas, African Americans?

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Erika J Bullard's avatar

HOLY COW❣️❣️ U R In My Mind & I Was Wondering Why When I’m RUBBIN One OUT, I Can Feel My (Girl Dick) Also None As A CLIT Is HARD. ThankU,JEBUS ❣️🩷❣️🩷❣️🩷

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Tameeka's avatar

What a wonderful time to be over 50! Thanks, Kim.

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Natalie Catherine's avatar

Loved this post Kim! It makes me so happy to know that the best sex of my life is potentially waiting for me in my fifties and beyond! Thank you for sharing so openly and vulnerably as always.

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Kim Foster's avatar

It really could be! Different but can really be better!

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Kaly's avatar

I enjoyed reading this essay. As someone who grew up in a home where talking about reproductive or sexual related topics was taboo —I didn’t find out I was going to start menstruating until just a few weeks before it happened, my twin sisters didn’t even know until they started bleeding— I appreciate the openness and vulnerability, putting yourself out there to help normalize these kinds of conversations and not let society or religions shame us for normal healthy behavior.

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Jody Frost's avatar

This!!! Yay Kim Foster for speaking so openly honestly and transparently! It’s a topic so many need to hear more about! The less secrecy and mystery it’s shrouded in the more fun we’re all gonna have with our sex lives! At every age! However we choose to experience it! 🙏🏻🥳😎👏🏼

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Jody Frost's avatar

Absolutely brilliant!! Good on you for opening this topic up with such honesty and transparency !

I too used to have the kind of sex, where you just couldn’t get enough of each other, where you were spending days in bed, fucking sucking and licking every square inch of each other in a state of high, sexual intoxication . All through my teen’s 20s 30s 40s and even thru my 50s, my sex life was rich and diverse and always exploratory. But my orgasms were at times elusive, depending on my partners. Certainly with penetration only. And so many men, at least they used to be, are or were attached to their penis being the vehicle for a woman’s orgasm that they forget or maybe never knew or don’t know that the clitoris is for the majority of us, the source of our pleasure! I was in my 30s when I finally said fuck this faking orgasm shit. I wanted to feel with my partners the intense orgasms I had been having my whole life on my own. So I just got honest! And explained and showed how it happens for me! Rather than hoping for a happy accident which would occur on occasion. So the ones with the fragile egos that couldn’t hear that I wanted/ needed their tongue or their fingers over their penis, they tended to melt away. But with my partner now of almost 20 yrs - he’s 77, I’m 67, our sex is consistently good. Consistently satisfying. Yeah, I don’t have the driving urge that I used to have. Nor does he. But hell, I went into sudden menopause at 45 with my first cancer, which was ovarian. And 10 years ago, he held my hand through colon cancer treatment so my hormones took a giant hit with all that. But I’m very grateful for HRT because without it, I’d probably not give a shit about sex at all. And I really like giving a shit about sex.! I love sex! . I love having orgasms and the experience of sensual pleasures of the flesh. God willing , I hope I always will!

I think it’s a choice though. I think if we make it a priority, we give proper attention and nourishment to that aspect of our bodies, and our minds, we continue to find ways to stimulate the gray matter, which is our biggest sex organ, the trickle down effect will continue to happen ! 😋🤪😍🥳

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Jack Silver's avatar

Great article Kim. One of the best decisions I ever made was learning about women's sexual pleasure. Most men think they know it all, or it comes nautrally. Thing is, even naturally talented athlete's have a coach and are always learning. Life's too short for average sex.

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Kia's avatar

Loved it 😍 Honest, real, relatable, informative. I wrote a piece about masturbation, and also included the part that even babies arouse themselves in the womb, but my readership was mostly not ready for this. Looking forward for your next text! Greetings from Portugal

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Kim Foster's avatar

Hi! Def interested in your thoughts and experiences in Portugal! Love to hear how different cultures/countries view these things. Thanks for weighing in!

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Kia's avatar

I’m a child of German hippies who moved to Portugal before I was born - and I write in English … so I have very mixed readers. But in general, Portugal is a very sweet, calm and old fashioned place to be, with the refreshing particularity that they don’t force their way on others. I opened a very sexy lingerie a few years back in Lisbon, because I wanted to stir up peoples intimacy, but after a while, 75% of my customers were from the US… but it was fun, that’s for sure!

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Angela Paul's avatar

Absolutely love this essay. I’ve been multi-orgasmic since I was about 12yrs old. Both by masturbation and with my husband of 44years. We’ve had wild and kinky sex together and deep soul stirring love making. We’ve adapted and adjusted over the decades-from parenting, caring for aging parents to minor health issues.

Now with him at 75 and me at 70 we have sex less-about once a week. Though sometimes we might go several weeks if either one of us is not feeling well or there’s a lot of stress.

During those times we are still very physically intimate-cuddling, spooning, holding hands.

When we have sex we plan for it and the anticipation of it feels like foreplay. I have found that at 70 it takes me longer to get to the first orgasm, but then the next several are easy and delicious. It also helps that my husband is incredibly patient and puts my needs first. And he still thinks I’m a goddess so his desire for me is a turn on. When there’s a lot of caretaking going on, especially for women, it’s definitely harder to get into sexy mode. So the designated sex day is free from caretaking or anything that involves drama, stress or responsibility. As I continue to age I may no longer desire orgasms but for now the release and relief is truly a profound sexual healing. And it keeps the fire burning between us even after 4 decades. But our deep friendship is beyond sex so if there comes a time when health issues make it harder then that’s perfectly fine too. Sometimes to be honest, as much as I love orgasms, I’m at the age where I prefer a good nights sleep. And fortunately so does he.

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Kimberly S.'s avatar

Loved this Read!

Sipping my coffee

Maybe should have Wine!

Thank You!!

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Nancy Hesting's avatar

Great article, and thanks for including my contribution. I meant every word.

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Amy Alex's avatar

Oh, god, Kim!! What an amazing article.

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Lynn Krown's avatar

Appreciate every word- your insights, candor, humor, wisdom. If you lived next door I’d want to meet up for coffee cocktails often! you’re a gift.

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Lynn Krown's avatar

Your sharing about sex is valuable - a needed message.

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