I will have to check these out, thank you for sharing Kim. Have you seen Good Luck to You Leo Grande? I know not quite the same themes but brave all the same and is a triumph in my book.
I hope you enjoy it. I find it harder to take Nicole Kidman seriously in anything she does now when it comes to representing older women after the amount of fillers she's had, although she denies them. Emma Thompson on the other hand is relatable and I thought she was really brave to take on the role.
I don’t like to publicly malign celebs who get plastic surgery - her job is certainly filled with lots of pressure around aging that I won’t be able to understand fully - but I secretly wish someone in her circle would tell her to stop. Too many fillers, which never really go away and just move around the face and make it look weird.
She is also playing a lot of brittle women lately, cold, cold portrayals, and I wonder if this is coincidence or if she is connecting with that brittleness in some way? Who knows…
This later part of life really does come with it’s own struggles as we publicly figure it out. It’s hard to manage without some wrong terms, and she will have to make those turns publicly. Happy for my obscurity.
Very wise words Kim, and my words were probably too harsh above and I have edited my comment a little, thank you. You're absolutely right, we will never understand the pressures of that industry. I am with you though in wishing someone would ask her to stop - she's such a naturally beautiful woman. That is an interesting observation on the brittleness too. You're very right that later life comes with it's own unique struggles and we're all just doing our best at the time.
Your comment was fine! It’s so challenging to navigate respect for people’s own decison-making when you kind of question said decision-making. LOL.
Maybe I need to write an essay about plastic surgery / fillers etc. and what that means as we get older?
It’s easy to look at Pamela Anderson showing up in no make-up, and applaud that as brave but let’s be honest - she is Pamela Anderson, she is gorgeous and has impeccable genes. Nicole is younger than me by 2 years. Her body is so much better than mine, and I can tell she works at it. She is sculpted!
So I guess - are we only aging beautifully if we win the lottery and don’t have to work at it. Maybe we wouldn’t question Nicole’s choices if she just looked 20 years younger and we couldn’t see the work she was doing? Does it matter that we know she wants to look much younger and that is what we judge? Does the work we put into our looks have to look effortless? I don’t know.
There’s quite a bit here to look into! I’m glad you said what you said.
So many juicy pieces of gold to mine there Kim! I love the idea of a piece on plastic surgery/fillers and the what that means as we age. I have heard from a lot of spiritual/channeling communities that we are moving into an era where wrinkles will be revered (return of the celebration of the Wise Woman) and the plastic surgery industry will take a massive hit. And I love your question "Does it matter that we know she wants to look much younger and that is what we judge?", because that is something I've been sitting a lot with lately. When I catch myself in those judgmental moments or feeling sad about someone else's choice, why am I doing that? I know it's coming from a part of me that's uncomfortable with my own ageing process, having gone into early menopause, and how I'm going to manage that.
Baby girl was disappointing. Insightful points. I’m looking forward to Dying For Sex. I’ve listened to a little bit of the podcast. Sounds very endearing. I’ve seen and experienced beautiful healing, and amazing soft awareness about what is enjoyable and what is not to BDMS. There are spaces that hold this as a secret opportunity with save guidelines that are deeply appreciated by the women, especially.
Thank you for writing all of this and your insights
Thank you Kim,once again!! I saw both of the shows you write about..Meh for the movie..too …curated somehow and rather..surface skimming.Dying for Sex on the other hand moved me a lot..and coincidentally happened about the time I read your orgasm post and responded so spur of the moment to..It seems logical to unpack sex,women and bodies,aging and culture,response and repression but hell,it’s hard..There were so many responses to my reply to your Orgasm story that I’d like to just say..what started off as a seeming adventure has twisted into a real labyrinth of self judgement,self reflection,denial,experiment and revulsion..But not dead yet so still willing to keep looking into this..absolutely understand why I opted for being a loner and why I STILL have no idea what good sex is and WHAT THE HELL DO I LIKE????I had a BF who introduced me to BDSM years ago..I enjoyed the sex play but not the overspill into RL. Yes to feeling cared for,seen,held and having fun but where are these people ???Im exhausted already by a dating app populated by men who want wine and a nurse..Then I spend some time cultivating right(for me) thought and right(for me) speech to counter the bitterness.I have a dog so life is good! And I love reading your posts.Thank you.
Kim, I’ve read a few of your posts and I’d love to know what you think of my novel that just came out… centered on midlife fears that send some people into full-blown panic… my protagonist was one…. Sex is a part of her story too…
This speaks to me. Thank you for writing this column, and now I need to watch Dying for Sex. I'll pass on Babygirl. I don't know what it is, but I have a hard time with Nicole Kidman.
Very insightful. I felt the same way about both shows -- I honestly didn't watch Babygirl to the end. The title itself was off putting to me. But I like Nicole Kidman so I watched. Until I couldn't. It was too contrived and degrading to her character.
In my late 20's during a summer when my daughter was in another state with her dad, I spent the time traveling "the circuit" with long- time strippers, working at a well respected BDSM place in the city I lived in at the time as well as traveling to Sturgis, in August, on the back of a Harley with a young man 10 years younger than me.
All that was to reclaim my power and self esteem. It worked like gangbusters. Besides, I've always glamorized the seedy side of life and enjoyed visiting it for a few months. I learned a tremendous amount about myself, men and about sex although the stripping and the BDSM never had any sex involved. Men don't necessarily need sex and neither do women. Both sexes need to be understood soooo much more. The act of sex can be completed with very little effort. Loving someone takes ALL the effort!
Great post -- and I talked too much here. I never talk about that part of my life, other than with my daughter because I promised there would never be any secrets between us. It felt kinda' good to talk about it a little and reminded me of a very adventurous time in my life. Thanks!
I enjoyed 2/3 of "All Fours' - Miranda July especially the room remodel, her manic obsession with her young beau and unraveling his introduction to sex and pleasure. Because I listened to the author read her own work, it added to the narrative.
I started to watch “dying for sex” and the whole stage 4 cancer issue was a bit too close to my own situation but now I just have to give it a second look based on your post.
I know. I was worried too. But it’s quite funny all the way through. Last episode is her death and you can skip it. BUT there is some interesting teaching about the death process so it’s really your choice. I’d love to hear your thoughts if you watch. Might make a good essay for your newsletter!
There’s also a lot interesting cancer tropes, like the stage 2 people who are afraid of the stage 4 people. And how people get all sappy and weird when cancer pops up in a conversation. I bet a lot will resonate. And it’s all met with humor.
I like "Third Life phase." I've been struggling for a term to describe what's after mid-life. Yes, I am there.
I couldn't bring myself to watch Babygirl for all those reasons, but will check out Dying for Sex now!
you will love it. It has heart.
Sex should be freeing. Molly's attitude towards life and sex is admirable. I will look out for Dying for Sex. That's a movie I don't want to miss.
Great insights to both shows. And kudos to your guy - ‘Empire Strips Back’ is first rate entertainment! So well done, clever, sexy, and killer music!
I’m going to tell him you said that! Thanks Mia!
I believe in being open but, also, being wise with whom one is open to.
Solid point.
I have known many straight shooters, which means the “line” was straight. However, the line can be diagonal. 😉
I will have to check these out, thank you for sharing Kim. Have you seen Good Luck to You Leo Grande? I know not quite the same themes but brave all the same and is a triumph in my book.
saw it had a similar theme. Putting it on my list to watch! Thanks for the rec.
I hope you enjoy it. I find it harder to take Nicole Kidman seriously in anything she does now when it comes to representing older women after the amount of fillers she's had, although she denies them. Emma Thompson on the other hand is relatable and I thought she was really brave to take on the role.
I don’t like to publicly malign celebs who get plastic surgery - her job is certainly filled with lots of pressure around aging that I won’t be able to understand fully - but I secretly wish someone in her circle would tell her to stop. Too many fillers, which never really go away and just move around the face and make it look weird.
She is also playing a lot of brittle women lately, cold, cold portrayals, and I wonder if this is coincidence or if she is connecting with that brittleness in some way? Who knows…
This later part of life really does come with it’s own struggles as we publicly figure it out. It’s hard to manage without some wrong terms, and she will have to make those turns publicly. Happy for my obscurity.
Very wise words Kim, and my words were probably too harsh above and I have edited my comment a little, thank you. You're absolutely right, we will never understand the pressures of that industry. I am with you though in wishing someone would ask her to stop - she's such a naturally beautiful woman. That is an interesting observation on the brittleness too. You're very right that later life comes with it's own unique struggles and we're all just doing our best at the time.
Your comment was fine! It’s so challenging to navigate respect for people’s own decison-making when you kind of question said decision-making. LOL.
Maybe I need to write an essay about plastic surgery / fillers etc. and what that means as we get older?
It’s easy to look at Pamela Anderson showing up in no make-up, and applaud that as brave but let’s be honest - she is Pamela Anderson, she is gorgeous and has impeccable genes. Nicole is younger than me by 2 years. Her body is so much better than mine, and I can tell she works at it. She is sculpted!
So I guess - are we only aging beautifully if we win the lottery and don’t have to work at it. Maybe we wouldn’t question Nicole’s choices if she just looked 20 years younger and we couldn’t see the work she was doing? Does it matter that we know she wants to look much younger and that is what we judge? Does the work we put into our looks have to look effortless? I don’t know.
There’s quite a bit here to look into! I’m glad you said what you said.
So many juicy pieces of gold to mine there Kim! I love the idea of a piece on plastic surgery/fillers and the what that means as we age. I have heard from a lot of spiritual/channeling communities that we are moving into an era where wrinkles will be revered (return of the celebration of the Wise Woman) and the plastic surgery industry will take a massive hit. And I love your question "Does it matter that we know she wants to look much younger and that is what we judge?", because that is something I've been sitting a lot with lately. When I catch myself in those judgmental moments or feeling sad about someone else's choice, why am I doing that? I know it's coming from a part of me that's uncomfortable with my own ageing process, having gone into early menopause, and how I'm going to manage that.
Baby girl was disappointing. Insightful points. I’m looking forward to Dying For Sex. I’ve listened to a little bit of the podcast. Sounds very endearing. I’ve seen and experienced beautiful healing, and amazing soft awareness about what is enjoyable and what is not to BDMS. There are spaces that hold this as a secret opportunity with save guidelines that are deeply appreciated by the women, especially.
Thank you for writing all of this and your insights
Thank you Kim,once again!! I saw both of the shows you write about..Meh for the movie..too …curated somehow and rather..surface skimming.Dying for Sex on the other hand moved me a lot..and coincidentally happened about the time I read your orgasm post and responded so spur of the moment to..It seems logical to unpack sex,women and bodies,aging and culture,response and repression but hell,it’s hard..There were so many responses to my reply to your Orgasm story that I’d like to just say..what started off as a seeming adventure has twisted into a real labyrinth of self judgement,self reflection,denial,experiment and revulsion..But not dead yet so still willing to keep looking into this..absolutely understand why I opted for being a loner and why I STILL have no idea what good sex is and WHAT THE HELL DO I LIKE????I had a BF who introduced me to BDSM years ago..I enjoyed the sex play but not the overspill into RL. Yes to feeling cared for,seen,held and having fun but where are these people ???Im exhausted already by a dating app populated by men who want wine and a nurse..Then I spend some time cultivating right(for me) thought and right(for me) speech to counter the bitterness.I have a dog so life is good! And I love reading your posts.Thank you.
Kim, I’ve read a few of your posts and I’d love to know what you think of my novel that just came out… centered on midlife fears that send some people into full-blown panic… my protagonist was one…. Sex is a part of her story too…
This speaks to me. Thank you for writing this column, and now I need to watch Dying for Sex. I'll pass on Babygirl. I don't know what it is, but I have a hard time with Nicole Kidman.
Very insightful. I felt the same way about both shows -- I honestly didn't watch Babygirl to the end. The title itself was off putting to me. But I like Nicole Kidman so I watched. Until I couldn't. It was too contrived and degrading to her character.
In my late 20's during a summer when my daughter was in another state with her dad, I spent the time traveling "the circuit" with long- time strippers, working at a well respected BDSM place in the city I lived in at the time as well as traveling to Sturgis, in August, on the back of a Harley with a young man 10 years younger than me.
All that was to reclaim my power and self esteem. It worked like gangbusters. Besides, I've always glamorized the seedy side of life and enjoyed visiting it for a few months. I learned a tremendous amount about myself, men and about sex although the stripping and the BDSM never had any sex involved. Men don't necessarily need sex and neither do women. Both sexes need to be understood soooo much more. The act of sex can be completed with very little effort. Loving someone takes ALL the effort!
Great post -- and I talked too much here. I never talk about that part of my life, other than with my daughter because I promised there would never be any secrets between us. It felt kinda' good to talk about it a little and reminded me of a very adventurous time in my life. Thanks!
'trist'- cheerless, gloomy.
'tryst'- a romantic secret meeting.
fair. thanks!
Triscot a square dry cracker 😜
Insightful article - I'll look for "Babygirl".
I enjoyed 2/3 of "All Fours' - Miranda July especially the room remodel, her manic obsession with her young beau and unraveling his introduction to sex and pleasure. Because I listened to the author read her own work, it added to the narrative.
I started to watch “dying for sex” and the whole stage 4 cancer issue was a bit too close to my own situation but now I just have to give it a second look based on your post.
I know. I was worried too. But it’s quite funny all the way through. Last episode is her death and you can skip it. BUT there is some interesting teaching about the death process so it’s really your choice. I’d love to hear your thoughts if you watch. Might make a good essay for your newsletter!
Interesting thought! I will check it out and if it’s entertaining enough I’ll ask my wife to watch it with me.
There’s also a lot interesting cancer tropes, like the stage 2 people who are afraid of the stage 4 people. And how people get all sappy and weird when cancer pops up in a conversation. I bet a lot will resonate. And it’s all met with humor.
I’ll have to check it out! My wife Pam and I like humor!
It’s such a great show about BDSM. Like I’ve never seen anything like it. And there is this lack of focus on intercourse which I find wonderful.
That’s interesting and unexpected but that’s as it should be!