Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear all these bad tooth and bad dentistry stories! I am lucky enough to have good teeth, my dentist calls me "boring" in a good way. Although he's itching to fix my receding gums. Insurance doesn't cover it, my teeth are currently at no risk for falling out, and it sounds like pure torture where they graft tissue from elsewhere in your mouth. 😬 No thank you.
Thank goodness for fluoride, and don't even get me started on the MAHA types calling it a scary chemical. Gimme all the fluoride, please and thank you.
Teeth represent power. Dreaming of them loose or falling out means we are feeling powerless, not in control. Think: if you were running from a dog chasing and trying to bite you, you look back to see how close it i and you see it has no teeth you'd stop running from laughing. All fear gone.
I do not understand how dentistry is not covered by Medicare nor most insurance plans. Few dental policies cover enough to warrant having one. A friend's mom almost died from an abscess in her upper jaw. Had she continued refusing to go to the dentist for another two days, the hole would have reached her brain and killed her. How is that not medical, and necessary? (She was in hospital for about a week.)
As I child I had a dentist who really drilled out cavities, going beyond what was necessary. That's what they did then. I hated the Novocain even more, so at nine I told him do what was needed but no more Novocain. That may have saved more teeth surface; who wants to shear away living bone with no block on a kid? I am fortunate, despite all those cavities, that overall I have good teeth. They aren't straight (no braces as I guess the orthodontist who gave my parents a deal on my siblings' braces shot himself the week before I was scheduled). As I continue aging, it's harder to take bites of food, like sandwiches. I figure soon I'll be using a knife and fork for just about everything - but hey, I can still chew. I have a great dentist, though I liked his dad better, but he'll get there. His dad told him if I ever have a cavity he cannot use Novocain; the kid is terrified of the idea. They are a great practice, helping a friend from out of town with a bad ache; no charge. Another friend has horrible teeth, just like his mom. No shame, and they see him same day when yet another tooth cracks or chips or loosens. A neighbor's teeth began dropping out when she was around ninety-four, and they tried their damnedest to talk her out of replacements because her bones couldn't take it, ultimately referring her to another dentist they knew was competent but would take her money for work that shouldn't be done ("Miss N, I wouldn't feel right taking money for something that will hurt and not last; that's wrong"). They're good, ethical, expert. When I talked about whitening mine, the dad told me mine were the color of ivory and strength. Somebody wants a neon glare, move on from me (and my husband never noticed).My childhood dentist was a good doctor too, he was just doing what was done then.
I wish others had good teeth. More, I wish dentistry will be recognized as medical and necessary and included in health plans.
I cannot even begin to articulate how much this resonated with me. Earlier this year, I had a debacle with a back molar. I was in so much pain that when I finally got in to see the "specialist" who does ONLY drilling started to yell at me for waiting so long to see him, I broke out in tears. Me, crying over what some asshole said to me. When I was able, I told his staff that HE was the reason I had to wait, I was told that he had needed some PTO, doncha know. My own dentist said he would not recommend him ever again. My own dentist was brutally honest with me, and I appreciated it so much: the process to replace that tooth, because it had to be pulled, would be costly and time-consuming. I ran the risk of shattering my jaw as they would have to drill into the jawbone to anchor the implant. He recommended that I not do it. I agreed...I have a space. Big deal. Taught me a good lesson: NO ONE that I am PAYING to help me ever will fucking make me cry agian. I will walk before that happens.
So resonate from trauma to rhythmical connection to the body, I live in Australia and it’s private. Dentistry has its own kingdom and not covered in Medicare. We had a dentist on site in primary school I’m still recovering. Thank you for sharing 🙏 I wish you well
I hear you. Once fainted in the dentist's chair and can't stand my current dental hygenist who talks incessantly while I'm pinned to the chair. He typically lets me know what food particles he identifies during the cleaning even though I've asked him to spare me the details. I put up with it because the dental office is in my health insurance plan and close by. I always hated being floss shamed. You're so right that it's not done for most other medical problems. Good luck! Sounds like you found a caring, reassuring dentist--a bit of a unicorn.
The floss shaming is awful. I actually had my current dentist put an annotation in my chart to NEVER TELL ME TO FLOSS AGAIN and I can actually hear the rotating casts of hygenists gasp when they see it. But it was totally worth it to never have to have the awkward flossing talk as a 46 year old woman.
I'm so happy to hear you've finally found a dental pro you feel comfortable with and who listens to you. I've been lucky to have "good teeth" (but not great gums), which probably offset not growing up with a regular dentist (I only started going regularly for cleanings/checkups in my early 20s after having all 4 wisdom teeth extracted).
But, sadly, I *have* had a medical doctor try to blame/shame me the way you wrote that dentists often do. It was when I got diagnosed many years ago with high/bad cholesterol/triglycerides and a fatty liver, and the doctor facetiously asked "how many cheeseburgers are you eating?" Not only was that presumptive and victim-blaming, but I was also vegetarian at the time, so it was ironic, too. (My good teeth genetics are balanced out by high cholesterol genetics.)
I just underwent extensive dental restorations last year to remove two root canal teeth, put in two implants and then three new ceramic crowns. A childhood accident broke my two front teeth so I’ve gone through some hellish dental procedures and endured a lot of pain, and lived with crowns since I was a kid. I had a delightful and soothing biological dentist who took me through the entire process with such grace and care, offering me a shoulder to cry on, lots of drugs to get through and the best resources for healing my mouth. I’ve never felt better, too. It’s so true that the mouth is the gateway to the body. Best of luck in your journey to better oral health. It’s hard and painful but it’s so worth it.
I’m so glad you found a compassionate “tooth fairy.” Dental insurance is about $120 per year for hubby and I. It covers the basics. Unfortunately when a tooth has to be yanked and you want it replaced insurance considers that cosmetic even tho sans tooth can realign the jaw, move teeth.
Ah, teeth! My favorite subject. I have a long and tortured history with dentistry. At age 10, I fell on my open mouth twice. The first time, I chipped a front tooth, and the second time I knocked it completely out. After several years of braces in middle school with only one front tooth, I got a bridge that looked ok until my mid 20s. By then, many of my surrounding top teeth began showing signs of damage from the impact, and I needed root canal after root canal. My teeth were a source of severe shame and embarrassment through my 30s. I felt like I looked great in every way except for my teeth. I attached so much importance and feelings of self worth to my teeth. I worked hard to not show them. Then in my early 40s I found a great dentist and had the courage to get crowns done on my top teeth. It was life altering! I felt like I could finally smile again! Then the pandemic happened, menopause happened, and we moved across the country. Once again I found myself with dental terror. My husband went to our new dentist, and we took the kids, but I would make an appointment for a cleaning, only to cancel or just not show up. I did this over and over. I finally went to a different dentist after a big piece of one of my molars broke off and I was terrified. Of course, by then, I had some crowns that needed to be redone. I continued to put this off - I was in such a state of fear and denial - until I started to feel pain and at that point actually needed an implant. And many new crowns. Last year I had that implant, a root canal, and 14 crowns done. It's been such a long and expensive road, and I have come to realize it will probably never end. At least now I have a dentist I trust. I will never allow myself to skip cleanings and regular visits again. My husband, who has naturally strong teeth, and my children, who have inherited these awesome teeth, tease me relentlessly because I seem to talk about teeth a LOT. I notice teeth, I dream about teeth. I covet teeth. May they never know the horror of having your mouth betray you! You have GOT this, Kim! Get those molars fixed, and enjoy the sedation. xoxo
Dentists are not my friends. I try to like them and they try to like me. We just don't gel. I got my dad's thick and wavy incredible hair. I also got his crappy teeth. I've been sitting for long hours in a dentist's chair since I was 5-years-old. I recently began the long process of doing exactly what you are about to do.
Here's what I want you to know: my anxiety and fear built up the terror in my mind to nearly epic proportions. When the first appointment -- I've had 2 now -- was over, it was so much less than I could have ever imagined. I still don't like a bunch of fingers in my mouth, but the second time I went, I had much less anxiety involved. I suspect that my next two visits will be even less.
So, what I am saying is that once I no longer needs a dentist, I'll be perfectly relaxed about seeing a dentist!
Kim, My wife had the a full implant done a few years ago. Afterwards, her smile has not been better. She is more confident than ever before. Seeing her wide open smiles makes her more gorgeous than ever. On the other side of the procedure, you will come out feeling a lot better. Best of Luck to you!
Starting before the pandemic, I had to have a "full mouth restoration," which involves having your existing teeth filed down to little nubbins and then crowned. I already had a bunch of crowns so those had to be replaced. I am fortunate to live near a dental school in Denver, so the work was done by a post-grad student. He already had his DDS but was getting extra qualifications in periodontal medicine. He was the nicest possible guy, and he did a great job. Still cost me $25K, and there were huge interruptions because of the pandemic. At one point my "temporary" crowns had been in my mouth for six months and were dark brown. So attractive! But it would have cost $50K in private practice. Other than telling me to stop drinking Diet Coke (dream on, amigo, my Diet Coke dies with me) he didn't shame me. I got to really know him, knew his fiancee's name, saw pics of his dog, etc.
He graduated and moved back to Montana. If you happen to need a periodontist in Montana, I can wholeheartedly endorse Dr. Peterson at Bozeman Periodontics.
I learned a LOT by simply sitting in the waiting room of the dental school, since that's where people go when they can't afford a private-practice dentist. I learned to carry cash with me because patients would get turned away even if they had terrible pain. It was cheap, but it wasn't free. One mom was losing it because her 12yo had to have a root canal and she didn't have the $200. If you've ever needed a root canal you know it hurts like a mofo. I had the $200 in cash. I decided that it was my obligation to spend at least some of my own savings from getting the work done at the school on the people who had less. But what about all the people who were in that situation who came in every day, every hour the clinic was open? The people I didn't see because I wasn't sitting right there?
Mariana, I can’t tell you what it means to read about you giving cash to less fortunate dental patients. I mean, these are the kinds of acts that hold me up these days. Wow. Thank you for that. And Let’s hear it for Dr. Peterson in Bozeman!!!!
There is a reason there are so many people with dental phobia. My jaw subluxates (fancy word for slips out of joint). You might say I become unhinged. The first time it fully happened I was sitting in a dentist chair and he kept yelling at me to open my mouth wider. When I refused, he yanked on my lower jaw and out it went--fully out. In the past only one side would slip out and if I pressed hard into the joint I could get it to pop back in. But there was no popping it back in. The longer it was out of place the greater the pain became. He was gobsmacked and had no idea what to do. (Idiot.) Try talking with your lower jaw out of place.
I tried telling him to hook his thumbs behind my teeth and gradually, carefully pull down and forward as I manipulated both joints. Finally, it snapped back into place. From that day forward, it has been hard to get me to the dentist.
May I ask for the the name and location of your dentist? I am desperate to find someone kind and holistic.
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear all these bad tooth and bad dentistry stories! I am lucky enough to have good teeth, my dentist calls me "boring" in a good way. Although he's itching to fix my receding gums. Insurance doesn't cover it, my teeth are currently at no risk for falling out, and it sounds like pure torture where they graft tissue from elsewhere in your mouth. 😬 No thank you.
Thank goodness for fluoride, and don't even get me started on the MAHA types calling it a scary chemical. Gimme all the fluoride, please and thank you.
Thank you for calling out all of it - the shame, the financial challenges and the perceived "separateness" of our oral health from our overall health.
Teeth represent power. Dreaming of them loose or falling out means we are feeling powerless, not in control. Think: if you were running from a dog chasing and trying to bite you, you look back to see how close it i and you see it has no teeth you'd stop running from laughing. All fear gone.
I do not understand how dentistry is not covered by Medicare nor most insurance plans. Few dental policies cover enough to warrant having one. A friend's mom almost died from an abscess in her upper jaw. Had she continued refusing to go to the dentist for another two days, the hole would have reached her brain and killed her. How is that not medical, and necessary? (She was in hospital for about a week.)
As I child I had a dentist who really drilled out cavities, going beyond what was necessary. That's what they did then. I hated the Novocain even more, so at nine I told him do what was needed but no more Novocain. That may have saved more teeth surface; who wants to shear away living bone with no block on a kid? I am fortunate, despite all those cavities, that overall I have good teeth. They aren't straight (no braces as I guess the orthodontist who gave my parents a deal on my siblings' braces shot himself the week before I was scheduled). As I continue aging, it's harder to take bites of food, like sandwiches. I figure soon I'll be using a knife and fork for just about everything - but hey, I can still chew. I have a great dentist, though I liked his dad better, but he'll get there. His dad told him if I ever have a cavity he cannot use Novocain; the kid is terrified of the idea. They are a great practice, helping a friend from out of town with a bad ache; no charge. Another friend has horrible teeth, just like his mom. No shame, and they see him same day when yet another tooth cracks or chips or loosens. A neighbor's teeth began dropping out when she was around ninety-four, and they tried their damnedest to talk her out of replacements because her bones couldn't take it, ultimately referring her to another dentist they knew was competent but would take her money for work that shouldn't be done ("Miss N, I wouldn't feel right taking money for something that will hurt and not last; that's wrong"). They're good, ethical, expert. When I talked about whitening mine, the dad told me mine were the color of ivory and strength. Somebody wants a neon glare, move on from me (and my husband never noticed).My childhood dentist was a good doctor too, he was just doing what was done then.
I wish others had good teeth. More, I wish dentistry will be recognized as medical and necessary and included in health plans.
I cannot even begin to articulate how much this resonated with me. Earlier this year, I had a debacle with a back molar. I was in so much pain that when I finally got in to see the "specialist" who does ONLY drilling started to yell at me for waiting so long to see him, I broke out in tears. Me, crying over what some asshole said to me. When I was able, I told his staff that HE was the reason I had to wait, I was told that he had needed some PTO, doncha know. My own dentist said he would not recommend him ever again. My own dentist was brutally honest with me, and I appreciated it so much: the process to replace that tooth, because it had to be pulled, would be costly and time-consuming. I ran the risk of shattering my jaw as they would have to drill into the jawbone to anchor the implant. He recommended that I not do it. I agreed...I have a space. Big deal. Taught me a good lesson: NO ONE that I am PAYING to help me ever will fucking make me cry agian. I will walk before that happens.
So resonate from trauma to rhythmical connection to the body, I live in Australia and it’s private. Dentistry has its own kingdom and not covered in Medicare. We had a dentist on site in primary school I’m still recovering. Thank you for sharing 🙏 I wish you well
I hear you. Once fainted in the dentist's chair and can't stand my current dental hygenist who talks incessantly while I'm pinned to the chair. He typically lets me know what food particles he identifies during the cleaning even though I've asked him to spare me the details. I put up with it because the dental office is in my health insurance plan and close by. I always hated being floss shamed. You're so right that it's not done for most other medical problems. Good luck! Sounds like you found a caring, reassuring dentist--a bit of a unicorn.
The floss shaming is awful. I actually had my current dentist put an annotation in my chart to NEVER TELL ME TO FLOSS AGAIN and I can actually hear the rotating casts of hygenists gasp when they see it. But it was totally worth it to never have to have the awkward flossing talk as a 46 year old woman.
Great idea! And I'm sure we all floss to the best of our ability so we don't need to hear the lecture again.
I'm so happy to hear you've finally found a dental pro you feel comfortable with and who listens to you. I've been lucky to have "good teeth" (but not great gums), which probably offset not growing up with a regular dentist (I only started going regularly for cleanings/checkups in my early 20s after having all 4 wisdom teeth extracted).
But, sadly, I *have* had a medical doctor try to blame/shame me the way you wrote that dentists often do. It was when I got diagnosed many years ago with high/bad cholesterol/triglycerides and a fatty liver, and the doctor facetiously asked "how many cheeseburgers are you eating?" Not only was that presumptive and victim-blaming, but I was also vegetarian at the time, so it was ironic, too. (My good teeth genetics are balanced out by high cholesterol genetics.)
I just underwent extensive dental restorations last year to remove two root canal teeth, put in two implants and then three new ceramic crowns. A childhood accident broke my two front teeth so I’ve gone through some hellish dental procedures and endured a lot of pain, and lived with crowns since I was a kid. I had a delightful and soothing biological dentist who took me through the entire process with such grace and care, offering me a shoulder to cry on, lots of drugs to get through and the best resources for healing my mouth. I’ve never felt better, too. It’s so true that the mouth is the gateway to the body. Best of luck in your journey to better oral health. It’s hard and painful but it’s so worth it.
I’m so glad you found a compassionate “tooth fairy.” Dental insurance is about $120 per year for hubby and I. It covers the basics. Unfortunately when a tooth has to be yanked and you want it replaced insurance considers that cosmetic even tho sans tooth can realign the jaw, move teeth.
Ah, teeth! My favorite subject. I have a long and tortured history with dentistry. At age 10, I fell on my open mouth twice. The first time, I chipped a front tooth, and the second time I knocked it completely out. After several years of braces in middle school with only one front tooth, I got a bridge that looked ok until my mid 20s. By then, many of my surrounding top teeth began showing signs of damage from the impact, and I needed root canal after root canal. My teeth were a source of severe shame and embarrassment through my 30s. I felt like I looked great in every way except for my teeth. I attached so much importance and feelings of self worth to my teeth. I worked hard to not show them. Then in my early 40s I found a great dentist and had the courage to get crowns done on my top teeth. It was life altering! I felt like I could finally smile again! Then the pandemic happened, menopause happened, and we moved across the country. Once again I found myself with dental terror. My husband went to our new dentist, and we took the kids, but I would make an appointment for a cleaning, only to cancel or just not show up. I did this over and over. I finally went to a different dentist after a big piece of one of my molars broke off and I was terrified. Of course, by then, I had some crowns that needed to be redone. I continued to put this off - I was in such a state of fear and denial - until I started to feel pain and at that point actually needed an implant. And many new crowns. Last year I had that implant, a root canal, and 14 crowns done. It's been such a long and expensive road, and I have come to realize it will probably never end. At least now I have a dentist I trust. I will never allow myself to skip cleanings and regular visits again. My husband, who has naturally strong teeth, and my children, who have inherited these awesome teeth, tease me relentlessly because I seem to talk about teeth a LOT. I notice teeth, I dream about teeth. I covet teeth. May they never know the horror of having your mouth betray you! You have GOT this, Kim! Get those molars fixed, and enjoy the sedation. xoxo
Dentists are not my friends. I try to like them and they try to like me. We just don't gel. I got my dad's thick and wavy incredible hair. I also got his crappy teeth. I've been sitting for long hours in a dentist's chair since I was 5-years-old. I recently began the long process of doing exactly what you are about to do.
Here's what I want you to know: my anxiety and fear built up the terror in my mind to nearly epic proportions. When the first appointment -- I've had 2 now -- was over, it was so much less than I could have ever imagined. I still don't like a bunch of fingers in my mouth, but the second time I went, I had much less anxiety involved. I suspect that my next two visits will be even less.
So, what I am saying is that once I no longer needs a dentist, I'll be perfectly relaxed about seeing a dentist!
Kim, My wife had the a full implant done a few years ago. Afterwards, her smile has not been better. She is more confident than ever before. Seeing her wide open smiles makes her more gorgeous than ever. On the other side of the procedure, you will come out feeling a lot better. Best of Luck to you!
Well, this might be my favorite comment yet. Thank you so much for this. And glad she loves her smile!!!
Starting before the pandemic, I had to have a "full mouth restoration," which involves having your existing teeth filed down to little nubbins and then crowned. I already had a bunch of crowns so those had to be replaced. I am fortunate to live near a dental school in Denver, so the work was done by a post-grad student. He already had his DDS but was getting extra qualifications in periodontal medicine. He was the nicest possible guy, and he did a great job. Still cost me $25K, and there were huge interruptions because of the pandemic. At one point my "temporary" crowns had been in my mouth for six months and were dark brown. So attractive! But it would have cost $50K in private practice. Other than telling me to stop drinking Diet Coke (dream on, amigo, my Diet Coke dies with me) he didn't shame me. I got to really know him, knew his fiancee's name, saw pics of his dog, etc.
He graduated and moved back to Montana. If you happen to need a periodontist in Montana, I can wholeheartedly endorse Dr. Peterson at Bozeman Periodontics.
I learned a LOT by simply sitting in the waiting room of the dental school, since that's where people go when they can't afford a private-practice dentist. I learned to carry cash with me because patients would get turned away even if they had terrible pain. It was cheap, but it wasn't free. One mom was losing it because her 12yo had to have a root canal and she didn't have the $200. If you've ever needed a root canal you know it hurts like a mofo. I had the $200 in cash. I decided that it was my obligation to spend at least some of my own savings from getting the work done at the school on the people who had less. But what about all the people who were in that situation who came in every day, every hour the clinic was open? The people I didn't see because I wasn't sitting right there?
Your teeth may not be strong but your heart is.
Mariana, I can’t tell you what it means to read about you giving cash to less fortunate dental patients. I mean, these are the kinds of acts that hold me up these days. Wow. Thank you for that. And Let’s hear it for Dr. Peterson in Bozeman!!!!
I am like a toddler when I go to the dentist. I am so bad that one dental practice banned me. You've got this!
Ha ha ha ha you rebel!
There is a reason there are so many people with dental phobia. My jaw subluxates (fancy word for slips out of joint). You might say I become unhinged. The first time it fully happened I was sitting in a dentist chair and he kept yelling at me to open my mouth wider. When I refused, he yanked on my lower jaw and out it went--fully out. In the past only one side would slip out and if I pressed hard into the joint I could get it to pop back in. But there was no popping it back in. The longer it was out of place the greater the pain became. He was gobsmacked and had no idea what to do. (Idiot.) Try talking with your lower jaw out of place.
I tried telling him to hook his thumbs behind my teeth and gradually, carefully pull down and forward as I manipulated both joints. Finally, it snapped back into place. From that day forward, it has been hard to get me to the dentist.
And the shaming... grrr...
That wasn't worthy of a lawsuit? Something? Letter to the state board? What a horrible person.
What a nightmare!
Um, yeah, I might never go to a dentist again either. Jesus. I’m so sorry, Nancy.